How to use the 5 languages of appreciation in the workplace

Love languages are a useful tool for examining the ways we show up for our loved ones and how we want others to show up for us. For example, my primary love languages are quality time and gift giving, while my wife’s are acts of service and words of affirmation.

The “five languages theory” is one developed by Drs. Gary Chapman and Paul White that categorizes displays of affection (or appreciation) into five categories:

• words of affirmation – statements that express gratitude, empathy or acknowledgement
• quality time – undistracted, dedicated time spent with an employee or team
• acts of service – performing tasks or generally performing “work” that is in service of another’s wellbeing
• tangible gifts – this generally refers to physical goods of some kind – company swag, for example, gift cards or anything you can touch
• (appropriate) physical touch – actual physical contact between persons; in work settings, this is generally limited to actions like high fives, handshakes or consensual hugs

When it comes to employee appreciation, these same five languages apply (with some contextual tweaks, of course). In this post, we’ll look at the five languages of appreciation in the workplace, along with how they manifest and how to integrate them.

What are the 5 languages of appreciation in the workplace?

Words of affirmation

You can think of this as recognition – acknowledgement and gratitude for efforts and accomplishments. Just as in our personal relationships, when we’re at work, we need to feel seen, heard, understood and appreciated or we start to lose our verve.

Examples:

• Sending a personalized eCard, email or thank-you note to an employee
• Offering consistent praise during team meetings and one-on-ones to reinforce positive behaviors and successes

Quality time

Camaraderie isn’t built in a day. Managers and employees need time and opportunities to get to know each other to build effective communication patterns and trust. This appreciation language emphasizes the importance of focused time with team members. For example:

• Scheduling consistent one-on-one meetings with employees to discuss challenges and wins, as well as career and personal development goals
• Hosting team-bonding activities to strengthen relationships and encourage collaboration

Acts of Service

This language is about taking on tasks or responsibilities to alleviate someone else’s stress levels or workload. This is particularly useful during high-stress situations or times when an employee feels overwhelmed.

Examples:

• Offering assistance with tasks or challenging projects when someone is struggling
• Volunteering for additional responsibilities during peak periods to provide support

Tangible gifts

Who doesn’t love a reward for a job well done?

But the key to this appreciation language is thoughtfulness. Giving everyone the same generic gift doesn’t make the same impact that a personalized reward does.

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Examples:

• A gift card to their favorite coffee shop or bookstore
• Small treats or snacks to share with the team (bonus points if there’s no associated occasion)

Appropriate physical touch

Physical touch can be a powerful way to connect with our fellow humans, but it must always be welcomed and contextually (and culturally!) appropriate.

Examples:

• High-fives and handshakes to celebrate achievements
• Friendly hugs to lend support or appreciation

What are the benefits of the 5-language model for employee appreciation?

The important thing to remember with models like these is that they are descriptive, not prescriptive, which means that they aren’t dictating behavior, just describing it. People are complex and unique and use a mixture of all the languages in varying degrees.

Improved employee engagement

The HAAS School of Business found that employees who feel appreciated are 43% more productive. That means higher job satisfaction and morale, along with strengthened loyalty to the organization.

Stronger workplace relationships

Using the five languages of appreciation at work fosters stronger interpersonal relationships between employees – and their managers. When we express appreciation in a way that is meaningful to the recipient, we build trust and camaraderie, which boosts team cohesion and collaboration.

Better communication

The five languages model is designed to encourage open communication about individual preferences and needs in the workplace. This enables us to better support each other and celebrate wins more meaningfully.

Increased motivation and performance

There is nothing better for motivation than feeling valued. By recognizing employees’ contributions in personalized and meaningful ways, organizations can boost overall business performance and productivity.

How to use the 5 languages of appreciation in your organization

1. Identify individual preferences

Take the time to understand how each employee wants to be appreciated. Some of your staff may prefer a simple thank you, some may be craving a tangible reward and others might just like a high five from time to time. You never know unless you ask.

2. Customize your approach

Now that you know how your people want to receive appreciation, tailor your strategies accordingly! Take notes and keep them somewhere you can reference as needed. Tailoring your appreciation efforts demonstrates that you value each employee as an individual.

3. Be authentic and specific

When it comes to appreciation, there are two key things to remember:

• Authenticity makes or breaks a message
• Recognition is not the same thing as appreciation. We recognize actions and we appreciate people

4. Appreciate regularly and fairly

Make appreciation a regular part of your workplace culture. Recognize employees consistently for the specific actions they do, in team meetings and chat callouts, not just during formal reviews or special occasions. Additionally, ensure that appreciation is distributed fairly across the team to avoid favoritism.

5. Respect boundaries

Some people do not like being touched. Some people are embarrassed by public recognition. Some people are uncomfortable receiving gifts. Although these are things we enjoy doing for each other, it’s critical to take these preferences into account when doing nice things for our teams. It isn’t always enough to simply mean well.

If personal touch isn't comfortable for you, you can set a boundary by asking your team which of the other four they prefer, so you can be comfortable providing the appreciation.

Incorporating the languages of appreciation into your workplace doesn’t mean you have to radically transform the way you do things – although it can, if you want it to! – it just means you need to take a few minutes to apply the framework to employee behavior. We aren’t putting people in boxes or simplifying things as much as we are seeking new forms of clarity and understanding. It leads to better communication, improved morale and productivity and generally happier employees.

It’s a commitment to fostering a workplace where everyone feels valued and empowered to contribute their best.